I had had a particularly difficult week again last week and was feeling like God was so far from me. I was finally able to sit down in the quiet and pray a little. All I could pray for was for God to let me know He was in fact, still there. I just needed to hear from Him in some small way to give me the little bit of assurance that I needed to get by another day or another week.
The very next evening I received yet another gift.
He gave me the gift Brian’s humor. Words straight from Brian that literally made me laugh out loud.
I had been sending photos that I had of the baby and Kara to Kara’s mom and had decided to go onto my Shutterfly account and see what was on there that she may want. Turns out I had not been on the site in a couple of years. The last time I’d signed in and downloaded some photos I had “apparently” set up a family page so that the kids and my sisters would have access to the pictures that I had taken. As I told Kara’s mom about the pictures I was sending her – I love taking pictures and sometimes I would just randomly take Paxton outside and let him play and just snap away. So consequently, I have hundreds of pictures - bad shots, shots of him crawling away, shots of him crying and sometimes that rare --perfectly timed, just the right lighting, just the cutest expression – “perfect shot.” I had downloaded an afternoon of that kind of session to Shutterfly and sent Brian a link.
Two years and seven months later I go back to find he has left goofy comments on a few of my crazy pictures. Comments I had never seen; comments so typical of Brian until I could almost hear his voice as I read them and then for the first time in many months I thought of him and genuinely laughed out loud. It felt so good and so right and I was so grateful.
Thank you God for answering that prayer in the sweetest way.
brian m "so if I slip you this $5 bill, then did you still see me poop my pants?
"and she kept taking these pictures of me doing dumb things...I told her I had enough but..."
brian m "so I was like, give me my keys. I'm good to drive home...then it hit me - I'm a baby, how the heck did I drive here?!"