Strange happenings

There have been several strange things that have happened since the loss of the kids.  I’m not exactly sure what to make of them but I wanted to record them here and you can take them however you wish. 

The Clock:

About a month before they died the clock in Paxton’s room quit running.  Naturally I assumed it was a dead battery and made a note to get batteries for the clock. 

During this time, my sister moved in with us and my life became very hectic --I never bought the batteries. And the clock remained stopped.  No big deal.  I have no less than ten other clocks.  And Paxton could not tell time.

Sometime, in September “after” the loss of the kids I walked by his room and noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. I stopped looked in and the pendulum on the clock was swinging.  I assumed my husband had replaced the batteries until I looked at the clock closer and realized it was not actually running.  The time was stopped on 4:22.  I have already noted in a previous post that the morning of their death I awoke from a sound sleep at 4:00 am and burst into tears for no known reason.  I sat upright in bed – crying and praying for all of my children (and I always consider my grandchildren as my children too) and my sister, currently in the hospital and then lay back down and went right back to sleep. 

Later I asked if he had replaced the batteries or started the pendulum.  He said he had not.  That would mean that a completely stopped pendulum started itself on a clock that was not running and had a dead battery for several months prior...

I walked over and stopped the pendulum.  And again, I made a mental note to pick up the batteries for the clock.  I noticed the time was still at 4:22 and since I was still waking up every morning at 4:00 on the dot it kind of stuck in my mind – that too seemed slightly weird.  I left the room to finish what I was doing.  I decided someone that had slept in there during the time of the Memorial Service must have started the pendulum and I had just not noticed until now. However, twenty minutes later I headed down the hall a second time, glanced in the room and the pendulum was swinging again!  The clock had been stopped for over a month.  The batteries had not been replaced.  And now a second time the pendulum had started itself swinging.  That was September.  This is March.  It is still swinging.  The clock is still stopped on 4:22 and I have still not replaced the batteries.

The Phone Call:

I have for some reason been saying since the loss that I just wish I could hear Brian’s voice again.  I really don’t know why that?  Not see his face or talk to him but hear his voice and I bet I have said it twenty times.  I guess because I was the last one to talk to him and just keep regretting letting him off the phone so quickly. 

Ever notice how everyone has a certain way of beginning a conversation on the phone?  

Brian’s was always the same.   He generally called on Sunday afternoons to run by for a quick visit or because we had the baby and he was coming by to pick him up

Brian - “Hey, what are y’all doing?  How long you going to be home.  Thought we’d come by for a minute.”

Always the same. 

My mother – “What’s going on?”

My daughter – “Hey. What cha doing?”

My oldest son – “Hey.”

My oldest grandson  - “Hey Nana, what’s going on?

One Sunday afternoon at home I had cried literally all day long and all I could think of was how I would never be able to hear Brian’s voice again.  I just kept saying how I wish I could just hear him one more time.  About an hour before we were set to leave to come back to the rental house in the city my phone rang.  It came from a number that was familiar to me but I did not “know” it and nothing came up on the caller ID.  When I answered the very familiar voice says:

“Hey, what are y’all doing?  How long you going to be home.  Thought we’d come by for a minute.”

–Familiar number; Brian’s words --Brian's voice? 

I almost fainted.  I literally screamed into the phone like a crazy person – “WHO IS THIS!” 

“It’s me Nana --What’s wrong?” 

My oldest grandson.  I can’t tell him.  I can’t even talk.  My knees go weak and I burst into tears.  I need to sit down.  I had never noticed his voice and Brian’s ever sounding alike and never had he began a conversation with these words…

The Phone Assistant:

I finally broke down and got my new phone as my old one would no longer hold a charge.  I had gotten all the pictures off and they assured me that the texts would all be saved and come over on the new phone.  This phone has SIRI.  My old one did not.  I am not familiar with that feature and did not even know how to activate it – intentionally.  However, in trying to check email my finger lingered on the home key a little too long and up pops SIRI. 

“What can I help you with?”

So deciding to explore this feature I let it go on.  SIRI begins to type suggestions for me.

“Some things you can ask me:” pops up on the screen.

“Where can I get coffee near me?”

“When is my next meeting?”

“Are we there yet?”

“Call Brian?”

DO WHAT?!  Did this thing really say that?

I check again as pages of suggestions continue. 

Where is Brian?

And the clincher…”Text Brian that I am on my way…”

Really? 

SIRI - Could we just sit down and talk?  Finally someone has answers?  I have a multitude of questions concerning Brian that I’d like to ask.  Could we have coffee or lunch?  Could you just tell me please what on earth is going on and what really happened?