Tuesday, January 13, 2015

The Project


 Brian always loved a project and he had always wanted to build his own home.  We were going to give him an acre of land so that he could do that and he wanted a builder to come in and get it dried in for him and then let him take it over and finish it a little a time as he could pay for it so that when he got it built it would be paid for.  We found him a suitable acre on the other side of our property and called a builder he quoted him $30,000 to get the foundation laid and get it dried in.  At the time, there were hundreds upon hundreds of foreclosures in the area and many were in very bad shape.  Some could be bought for just a little more than it would have cost to get a small house dried in by a builder.  Donald and I decided if he was in any way interested in something like that – we would get a home equity loan on our house and purchase one and let him do the renovations.  I told him “By the time you get through with some of these houses you will feel like you built it from the ground up!”  We set out to find one that was in poor shape “cosmetically” but in a good location and had a good workable floor plan and no big money issues.  We found exactly that and closed on the house right after Paxton was born.  

The house was a wreck!  But I saw potential.  I just hoped and prayed they could.  

I knew what Brian was capable of but Kara did not and I wasn’t sure she wouldn’t just walk in and either burst into tears or walk right back out.  But she surprised me as she always seemed to do as she just walked into that ridiculous mess and started making plans for how they would “paint this a pretty color gray and put an island right here in the kitchen and we can make that little room downstairs into an office”.

Brian and Kara were so excited until they could hardly wait to get started on it although the baby was newborn and Kara was fresh out of the hospital she wasted no time in diving in paint brush in hand. 

Oh my goodness that house was a disaster.  It had sat empty for quite some time and had been vandalized multiple times apparently. There were no less than 150 holes in the walls and doors.  There was no flooring at all just plywood sub floor.  Half of the kitchen cabinets were missing, all of the appliances stolen, pieces of baseboard ripped off with a crowbar leaving huge holes in the wall where there should have been baseboard.  The living room had cathedral ceilings one main wall painted 20 feet high in red enamel!  The master bedroom had a beautiful tray ceiling and bay window and the entire thing was painted in the Georgia Bulldog colors of red and black – even  the ceiling. 
      
The master bath had all of the fixtures ripped out of the garden tub and holes the size of saucers in the wall over the toilet where a cabinet had literally been ripped off the wall.  Not one single room was even remotely livable.  Every door in the entire house needed replacing.  But the house had good bones and no real money damage.  The roof was good.  Miraculously, the heat and air system was intact and operable and the copper not ripped out of the electrical box.  There were no termites.  No plumbing problems.  No foundation problems and it sat on a full acre of very pretty land that backed up to a large tract of woods. 

Brian and Kara worked night and day priming, painting, laying wood floor, installing custom tile in the kitchen, all new oak cabinets, new counter tops, new fixtures and appliances, and all new interior doors.  He refinished the steps going down to the basement and they were stunning.  He even built a custom-made baby gate to match the stair rail and spindles.
Brian's baby gate
He installed cabinets in the laundry room and built Kara her island for the kitchen.  She was right there beside him working like a master contractor. 

Brian took $8,000 and the two of them together turned it into a dollhouse.  They enjoyed every minute of it and they worked together like a precision team.

They were so excited to see that house go from a non-livable dump to a beautiful home and they were so proud of their own accomplishments.  It was not only building them a home to raise Paxton in – but building blocks for their marriage too.  A symbol of what they could accomplish when they worked together as a team.  And the best part was that it would be completely paid for in seven years. 

After they got moved in they continued with the decorating and renovations to the house and yard.  They cleaned up the yard; cut down trees; made flower beds. At Kara's request I dug up Hosta and rooted her three or four Hydrangea from my yard and she carefully planned where to put them in her new flower bed.  They cleared out a spot for a fire pit for summer evening family time.  They had even recently decided to try their hand at gardening and Brian built garden boxes so Kara could plant herbs, tomatoes, cucumbers, lettuce and even a crop of “corn” in an 8X8 box! 

The one main hold out on the renovation was the three piece front door set.  He had never tackled anything like that as it had a palladium window above it and he wasn’t sure what would hold that up if he removed the door.  So that was last on the list.  He had caught the door Kara had chosen on sale and bought it and let it sit in the garage for a year until he could figure out where to begin.  About three weeks before they died he found what it took to take the old door, side lights and frame out and replace it with the new one; meticulously painted in the color Kara chose.  That completed the main living space of the house and he was moving on to the downstairs man cave.

Over the summer he had been cutting, splitting and stacking firewood to be prepared for the winter.  The house with the high ceilings was difficult to heat and they kept a fire burning most of the time so all summer long as he came up on downed trees anywhere he asked if he could clean it up and he brought it home in anticipation of a cold winter.  About May he began construction on a huge woodshed.  It was as tall as a one story house and three sided and vented to keep the wood dry and rot free.  Many days as he was out working on the woodshed, Paxton was right there pretending to hammer right along side his daddy.  He had just finished filling up it with about four truckloads of split firewood.   
I have learned recently exactly what hopelessness means.  When I wake up and have no desires to even see tomorrow;  no hope for the future; no dreams and no plans. 


Totally unlike Brian.  He looked forward to the future.  He had wishes, dreams, desires & plans. 

He did not know hopelessness and dying was not in his plan.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Coincidence? Really?

I turned on the news today and almost passed out as I listened to an almost word for word repeat of the horrific news story that forever changed our lives four months ago.

Police were called to the home of a local family when members of the household did not show up for school and work.

Four members of a family were found shot to death as they slept. All shot with the homeowners gun. According to the news report there was no sign of a struggle. Same county.


In a city of over 4,000,000 people the exact same scenario happens a few miles from my son's home? Coincidence? Seriously? And again ---deemed murder/suicide?

This time the male homeowner was one of their own. A long time veteran of the County Sheriff's Dept. In this case the stepson was identified as the shooter. 


Naturally not the Deputy.


My heart goes out to that family. I know the heartache they live with tonight. And many nights yet to come. At least because of who he is they will no doubt get a more thorough investigation.


My guess is that "why" will suddenly be important. I'm betting a toxicology report is actually ordered this time and maybe even a ballistics test as well and I'm almost sure the GBI will actually get called in to head this investigation.


Hopefully, this family will get some of the closure they need to go on.  Although it won't bring them back, at least they won't be left with the same holes in the story that haunt us night after night.


It's a crying shame that all the county's citizens (and tax payers) lives are not treated with the same level of importance. How can anyone look at that precious baby's face and deem his life not as important as someone else's?


So it may have been easy for them to see how my son, the only grown male supposedly awake in his household, could pick up his wife's gun and shoot a sleeping woman and child.  But how does a young boy take an experienced law enforcement officer's service revolver and over-power an entire household without any resistance? 







Monday, January 5, 2015

2014 is finally gone!

But before it left...


We actually did go to my best friend's house for our traditional New Year's celebration.  We stayed in and had a nice visit and a great dinner. However, the holiday was overshadowed when upon arriving I found out that she had received a phone call from her doctor that day and her mammogram and subsequent sonogram came back showing several cysts and one tumor.  She has been referred to a surgeon for a biopsy/lumpectomy and has a breast cancer scare looming over her head.


My little granddaughter ended up in the hospital from dehydration.


My grandson brought home a stray kitten that he found on his job.  The poor little thing was about starved to death and appeared to be a little sickly.  My daughter thought rescuing a little kitten might give her something to feel good about so she agreed to the addition to her household. 


She took the kitten to the vet thinking a checkup, a little food and some vitamins would quickly get him on his way back to good health. A hundred and thirty dollars later she finds out that the kitten has "cat herpes" that has blinded him in one eye and also showing signs of it being in the other eye. She was told it was non-curable, would flare up periodically, and cause him to be sick the rest of his life. It was also highly contagious to any other cat, pose a danger of infection to anyone that had sensitive eyes (which she does) and could be dangerous to anyone with a compromised immune system. 


She had now exposed herself to eye infection, exposed her family cat to an incurable disease and also exposed every cat in her neighborhood.  So she had to turn right around after thinking about it and pay seventy dollars more to have it put to sleep and disposed of!  And the rescued little kitten that she was hoping would make her feel better after losing her brother, sister in law and nephew - lost his life to the tune of two hundred dollars at Christmas!


Unbelievable.


It's going to get better.  I know it is.