I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I have felt
abandoned by God in all of this misery.
So I got to thinking about where I have found my comfort and support. Of course my family first and foremost my
daughter, my son in law, my husband, my sisters, my brother & my best friend
but where was God in all of this? Well
the first help and comfort I received was from my church family – all of whom
were with us from the moment we found out and there for us throughout that
entire horrific day. Then throughout the
week following their deaths – we heavily depended on them for so much. There was the Preacher and his wife – to
preach the service and play the piano and to be there to sit with us, cry with us and pray for
us. There was a steady stream of Deacons
and their wives, and the rest of the church family all there, at one time or
another bringing food, drinks, paper goods, hugs, tears, offers of help in any
way we needed. They continued with phone
calls, cards, emails and sporadic visits for many months even bringing us fresh vegetables from their gardens. And even this past
week a drop in visit as they remembered that the anniversary was coming up and they thought I
may need someone to be with me.
Then there were all the cards and the beautiful and thoughtful
“comfort basket” from my daughter’s Sabbath School class. A group of ladies from the Seventh Day
Adventist Church my daughter attends – all women that did not know me but sent
me inspirational books, cards, a special coffee mug, picture frames, soft
cuddly throws and CHOCOLATE! It was the
sweetest gesture.
I have even received, right along with my sister, a steady stream of funny, sweet, uplifting cards for a solid year now from the mother of the preacher at my sister's church.
I have even received, right along with my sister, a steady stream of funny, sweet, uplifting cards for a solid year now from the mother of the preacher at my sister's church.
Then we attended Grief Share classes at one of the largest
Church of God churches in Atlanta where we were given books, advice, comfort
and support while we met in a group of people who had all experienced loss and
watched inspirational, helpful & hopeful videos to give us hope and teach us ways to survive this loss. I also made a good friend there that has kept
in touch and I’ve had dinner with several times.
And when my sister went home and the grief blind-sided me
again – she (as if she had nothing else to think about!) contacted a church sponsored group called Stephen
Ministries. Where they have volunteers
that train to be paired up with someone in an emotionally trying situation of loss to
listen and offer friendship and comfort.
I have been meeting weekly with the sweetest lady that sits for a couple
of hours a week and listens while I tell her the details of this horrific
story. A heavy burden emotionally for her yet she keeps coming back. She actively listens. She isn’t judgmental or disgusted. And, when I want to talk about my love for my son, I
don’t get “The Look”. She is kind and
considerate and thoughtful and she also meets with a group of “prayer warriors”
weekly in a Prayer Shawl group and they knit or crochet shawls or afghans and
the entire group prays over it and then they give them to someone in need of
prayer. She brought me the most
beautiful blanket that all of the women in her group had prayed over for
me! They are from a Methodist Church
fifteen miles away.
Days after the kids were found, we received a letter in his
mail box addressed to the "Family of Brian, Kara & Paxton" expressing sympathy and telling us how sorry they were and how they
were praying for us. It was from a
church fifty miles from us.
I have spent days and days listening to the comforting
messages of Charles Stanley, a minister from the largest Baptist Church in Atlanta. He is on the radio and his sermons are
broadcast on TV and online from their website. I listen every day to what has -- at times
been a life-saving message.
I have also for the first time in my life begun listening to
Praise and Worship music. I am a Southern
Gospel old Church Hymnal kind of girl and have never cared for the new age
modern worship music but the very first person to contact me from my blog sent
me a link to a song by Mercy Me called the Hurt and The Healer and I fell in
love. And I’ve been listening to them
and all praise and worship music ever since.
It has become such a comfort and such a help to me and I have found a
new love that I will no doubt hang onto from here on out.
So what is the common denominator here?
Yep, God. That
same God that I felt had abandoned me.
There
have been Churches - Baptist Churches,
Seventh Day Adventist Churches, Methodist Churches, Church of God Churches,
Presbyterian Churches – all sending help and comfort my way continuously. All God’s people --doing God’s work; “being Jesus
to the least of these.” God was bringing
me help and comfort in my grief and pain – through the kind acts of His people. I couldn’t feel Him or find Him but He was
there all the time; sending His earthly workers to be the music that soothed my
soul, the inspirational teaching that got me through that day, various formal
ministries to be my listeners and my guides through the strange and hostile
world of catastrophic grief, new friends and even strangers to be my comforters and my own church
family to be my physical help.
He has
been there for me --through all of you!
If you ever think that what you do does not matter – think again. If you have a talent (and everyone does) whether
it be carpentry, gardening, crocheting, knitting, talking and being an
inspiration to someone, or listening to give someone an outlet for their pain,
cooking to provide a meal, singing, preaching or praying – God can use it if
you let him. And trust me when I tell
you, it makes a difference. Some days the difference between life and death.
Sometimes You are all of the God some people ever see. I know because I have been one of them.
Beautifully put andrea. Love nancy
ReplyDeleteThanks Nancy. Glad you liked it. And it is so true! And it is funny how we look and look and sometimes do not see what is right in front of us. Hope you are well. Love and prayers to you.
ReplyDelete