My Heart...

I had 58 years of my life before he was ever born and he has now been gone 9 years.  I only had him 2 years 8 months and 2 weeks.  Such a small percentage out of the whole and yet that 2 years and 8 months and 2 weeks will dominate the rest of my entire life. And yet I am afraid that the small percentage of time will fade as it becomes farther away and I will forget what loving him was like.  I will never forget him of course but emotions fade, memories fade and I am afraid he will occupy such a small segment of time out of my life that I will forget a lot.  You do as time goes by.  And I don't ever want to forget one minute of my short time with him.  I enjoyed every minute of it and photographs and memories sustain me.  Losing him was awful but not as awful I think as never having had him.

Paxton at five months old pulling up at the baby gate 

Brian built to keep him safely away from the stairs.

Paxton at 20 months - in my yard playing in the leaves

                     

The Panda Bear blanket - the very first thing I bought when I first learned Kara was pregnant

Sitting on my window seat watching the birds

On the front porch

Playing in the yard

At the mall with his mom and Aunt riding with Garfield

Napping in the kitchen floor

Paxton three months old with "Jeffrey" on his head.  

Brian named all of his toys

Paxton new born the day he came home from the hospital

Sitting in Nana's bed laughing after he swiped the remote

Paxton two months old spending the weekend with Nana