It really does.
Need proof?
Crazy - like keeping an open, half drank Pepsi in your fridge for two years and only tossing it as you move. (Hey, at least I didn't pack it.)
Crazy - like tripping over a houseful of toys scattered everywhere for six months after there was no one under 40 that even visited. (And sadly, yes, I will cop to the fact that did pack some of them.)
Crazy - like getting that "deer in the headlights" look every time someone asks how many kids I have.
Crazy - like nine years later still not knowing how to answer that question.
Crazy - like when I finally tell someone I lost my son, I never say "and my grandson and my daughter in law" which makes me feel awful but I know if I do there will be questions that I can't answer.
Crazy - like breaking off the closest friendship you've ever had - screaming that you never want to hear from her ever again. And then crying because you miss her so much - for nine years.
Crazy - like bursting into tears in Walmart when you pass by baby shoes, Hot Wheels cars, pumpkin pie, eggnog, a box of Rice Krispie Treats or losing it in the checkout line over a pack of Skittles.
Crazy - like postponing an appointment with a surgeon made for the 24th of August. A surgeon!
Crazy - like having a hard time planning or doing anything on the 23rd of any month because in my mind I have 12 anniversaries of their death every year. Yeah - that's crazy.
Crazy - like unconsciously looking up and noting the time at 3:15 (March 15) on any clock I pass every single day and stopping to think about Brian
Crazy - like noticing the numbers 315 on phone numbers, signs, car tags, addresses etc.
Crazy - like stalking and snapping pictures of a total stranger in Chick Fil A because he looks so much like Brian till its spooky. Realizing that's crazy and doing it anyway.
Crazy - like thinking every single dark haired girl with Italian features on TV looks just like Kara
Crazy - like seeing a man that looks like Brian going into a store and actually seriously wondering what Brian was doing in South Carolina! Because for just a moment I forgot - five years after he died.
Crazy - like going into a funk and crying on and off the entire month of March --for nine years.
Crazy - like waking up at or close to 4:00 A.M. almost every single morning for nine long years - when you are retired!
Crazy - like binge-watching crime shows trying to find a scenario that fits or a similar scenario that disproves the story we were given.
Crazy.
It makes you just plain crazy.
